Crack n Nite

August 20, 2009 § Leave a comment

aaaaaOF COURSE it’s 4.56am and I am awake. OF COURSE I had a mini melt-down that lasted about 2 hours where I started talking to Katie on skype and then went on to having to explain to everybody how and why the world is coming to an end and obviously because of my insecurities I am left feeling incapable and unawesome for anything. OF COURSE the last part is untrue because obviously everything I say and do are epic as fuck and I exhude awesomeness and so forth, but we all have our dark moments and to think it all began with a fucking application for my iPhone. EVIL.

About the end of the world: some people seem to have some theory that shit will go down sometime in the next few years, natural disasters and so forth and OF COURSE Hollywood is making a fucking big budget movie about it. And OF COURSE John Cusack’s fucking adorable face and soft words are going to be on the fucking big screen because if HE wasn’t there, I don’t know how else to calm neaurotic, panic attack bitches like me. There is NO ONE in Hollywood better than John Cusack to prepare you for the end of the world. Well done. This website claims to strategically elect the leader for the post 2012 world, which I am cool with. How thoughtful of them to fucking do this shit over the internet, because surely if my next door neighbor [the one with a million dogs and grandchildren running around] should be the destined leader I know his homefuckingpage is bookmarked on this shit. I thought it was going to be this awesome joke where they would actually let people from all over the damn world to enter for a chance to be a leader, but like everything else in politics you have to fucking live in the damn states. You won’t understand how many fucking contest I couldn’t enter and all the leadership opportunities I have missed because Turkey wasn’t one of the fucking states. Damnit. But that shit is lame anyway, they give you a fucking PS3. What good is a fucking PS3 if NOTHING IS GOING TO STAY HERE IN A FEW YEARS? I almost thought about burning my clothes and preparing myself to live on non-materialistic shit, but that would mean that my complete life would have to be altered and I would remain with literally NOTHING to work with. No one will hear my voice. If I wanted that, I would [insert offensive shit here].

Let’s just leave it to Obama. I’m sure he has a plan for the whole human race. I KNOW HE HAS ONE.

I know I should really be updating at least twice a week-and I really will-but this week I spent my extra curricular hours watching TV shows about vampires and sexually based offensive crime investigators, and have recently been obsessing about the end of the world.


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