I am baking a chocolate cake at 11pm because that is the normal thing to do.
January 7, 2010 § 2 Comments
As if I didn’t have to worry enough about my internet persona, what with keeping a Tumblr visual dictionary-as I call mine- and a fucking Twitter account -it’s too damn popular- and this blog of a monster, I now have to worry about the way I answer questions from random strangers.
Obviously, I had to jump on this Ask me anything bandwagon of formspring.me and am nervously trying to construct my perfect answers to the questions internet will type in. Why do I do it if it is such a painful misadventure? Because I read today from this guy’s Tumblr blog that he went on almost every formspring account he could and asked things like Have you ever washed your lovers hair? and that sounded like a question that people only really ask on movies like 500 Days of Summer or are in the short stories written by Miranda July. And the sort of person who asks these questions, obviously I had to produce a hypothetical image of him in my head, look like a cross between Joseph Gordon Lewitt and that 19 year old boy in Nowhere Boy who is engaged to the 42 year old director Sam Taylor Whateverface. In the short run, this is my ideal man and I need to meet him NOW.
And the answer to that question is, yes, I have washed my lover’s hair in the past, I didn’t do it in the sink, it wasn’t in a bathtub either. Actually, it was in a rutty, cold shower in the godforsaken place that is Worcester. And it smelled like coconuts.
Naturally, given the circumstance of my relationship with the boy-whom-I-washed-his-hair, I no longer enjoy the smell of coconuts.
Here are two links so you can ask me things;