no wonder I will never recieve a blog award crap

April 14, 2010 § Leave a comment

Yeah, it’s all fucking fantastic that your blog is getting a million hits and that you have become more popular on the internet than the deserved folk. This is a post more about my ethical, technical dilemmas and such.

Here are some reasons why I will probably never ever get nominated for any blog/internet award. Like, ever.

  • I rhyme and whine, sometimes at the same time, soemtimes more painfully than Slyvia Plath. Negatory shit equals unfortunate followers. Who do read and are probably loyal and probably lead an extremely uncomplicated life where they bake their spiked cake and eat it, too. But the happy readers, won’t find much to relate.
  • In fact, many, ought to have a damn hard time relating to what I type here. Hell, sometimes I don’t even know what I have been writing about. Without making this more obvious that despite my not updating every day, I check my blog regularly for unknown reasons- I will say to you all, thank you for trying to relate. Thank you for reading my words. Thank you for screaming dumb cunt to your screen. Thank you for making a shrine for me on your desktop. (As if I have only ONE blog and ONE twitter and ONE FB account. Oh, twist)
  • I don’t write about one topic, do I? No, I write mostly about my complaints in life in the least literature fashion and add some random words to the crap I produce. Or maybe you are one of the few people who do know what the hell I am trying to say here. Please e-mail me immediately.
  • The fucking language problem is shit. I have written about this way too much and deal with it too frequently in my real life to stress you out at the moment. As if you don’t struggle with me daily about this, I shall write more on language. In fact, this is probably going to be the topic for the rest of this blog’s life. Run away now, if you can.
  • My rings are way too heavy for my boney fingers and they are weighing them down on the keyboard and I end up with a million typos. What are you doin reading a blog like this? I’m sure you have better things to do. Dye your hair. Cut your t-shirts. It’s almost fucking summer already, go work out or something.
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