also, people who can’t hear or sing right should never try to hear and sing

June 4, 2011 § Leave a comment

I wouldn’t have imagined.

Not in a million years, would I be convinced that at one point, I would break out of my caged, protected universe and make efforts to communicate with others.

This is not to say that by emerging out, I feel more comfortable, less self conscious, more vocal, less hurtful. I am still a combination of all of them, perhaps in a way that is more fragile, do to my exposed skin, or perhaps less thoughtful towards the rest, as is the belief that you are the center of your being as well as the universe and that all things will go as they have to, and you shall reach where you belong in the end.

Rejecting these existential, somewhat utopian ideas of self, the others, life’s meanings and all those in between for as long as I have succeeded in remembering myself, it comes as a great suprise watching this information, this preaching in front of me.

Should I be scared? I already am.

I haven’t written in a while because of this, because I was unsure of the ideas and the desires that would emerge through my fingers once I sat to type, because I spent the hours when I would write, working on people’s requests, the hours that I could write, being social and unveiling myself to the people, the hourse that I should write, staying awake and drinking and worrying about unnecessary things or thinking of unimportant details. As a result, on this very blessed saturday, I have started to write again.

I have acquired a friend, who came upon my life in a funny way, I have knew of her before, as you do with many people, and I have always wondered if we would cross paths, and when it did I see that we had both come a long way, experienced many intensified people and emotions and situations, and I found myself being eternally grateful that I was sitting with her at a 2 am in a pub somewhere and we were able to talk about our enlightenments or our destructions. And while I am scared shitless about time passing by as it gets closer to that numerolojical day where the human kind as well as the universe will taste something on a new level.

Perhaps more on that new level later, as I still don’t know enough to preach or teach about the subject.

 

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