after most is s…

February 27, 2012 § Leave a comment

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after most is said and done and i have torn myself apart from your touch because if i had spent more time in it, less of myself would exist now.

the more i avoided looking in your eyes, the more self control i had, i felt your smile drawing from my breath the very existence of me. the more you buried me deep in your arms, the less i struggled for breath and in the depth of you i no longer saw the light. but the very light in you, the very energy and touch that you can offer me, and i am pretty sure these two won’t be the only ones, are the ones that  have blinded me the most. your soft gaze followed by a more aggressive touch, your need to declare the world that i am your own and your scent getting under my skin where i unconsciously desire you, finding myself being drawn to you in every form. 

upon my withdrawal, i sense agitation. a frustration where i have to shriek in distress, a discombubulating confusion, a disorientation followed by flashbacks of your touch. my memory is effortfully creating, re-visualising all 24 hours, i have to reestablish myself as the ruler of my mind and emotions and nothing else. i am trapped by repercussions of the sensations you have left on my skin, and each word i have to read twice to get my head around it. when i sit down to write you, to write on me, nothing else but the visual memory comes out.

the more i avoid reflecting on the past days, the more i suffer from withdrawal. i find myself physically desiring you all the more and i am terrified. 

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